PYMWYMI- Kristy Tamashiro

Johnny Kai Productions

1019 University Ave

Suite 204

Honolulu, HI 96826

Dear Brown Bags To Stardom,

I've watched Brown Bags To Stardom many times before.  It's very interesting to watch all the different variety of music videos from the state's youth, also too see what kind of talent they have to offer.  It gives high school students a chance to show off their creative ability, and musicality.  Brown Bags To Stardom not only makes the high school proud if your video's are shown on the program, but it makes the community proud of their alama mater as well. 

Moanalua High School recently had an outstanding talent show on November 21st and they announced oc16's Brown Bags To Stardom was going to air the Moanalua talent show on Sunday, November 30, 2008 at seven thirty.  I had many friends that performed in the talent show, let alone one of my friends was in the group that won the talent show.  My friends and I waited all week to watch our classmates perform on television, which the whole state would be seeing.  

To come and find out they showed clips of the talent show, I would say two to three minutes of each performance.  The audience who wasn't actually at the talent show wouldn't be able to see the performance the same way we the students saw it.  the talent show performers who's parents were not at the talent show wouldn't be able to see their child's full length performance.  Moanalua wanted to show off our talented student body, but how can we when we are only featured in the show for not even ten minutes?  The talent show performers feel like the audience wasn't able to see the amount of talent they brought forward.  To me I was disappointed, because I felt like the performers didn't get to show their full talent in front of a television audience. 

Sincerely,

Kristy Tamashiro 

Risky Business Draft

Risky Business

Religious views on sex don’t prevent teens from having sex. Different religions have different opinions on sex, whether it be waiting till your married or just don’t do it at all, there’s a million ways to interpret it. God states that everything he created in the beginning was good. God created sex, so why is it badly viewed when people have premarital sex? It’s one of those things God created that people misrepresent. He meant for it to be within a marriage, for man and wife, and for creation so we as people could multiply and be fruitful. God said do not commit adultery, so we should not have sex outside of marriage.
Although teens might have a certain religion they believe in, and the beliefs that come along with it, do they actually abide by the rules? About 91% of teenage Americans have premarital sex, but 89% of Christian teens are having premarital sex as well. The sexual temptation remains on everybody, Christians, Catholics, and even people with no religion. Teens know what the Bible says about sex, to save it for marriage, but they might think it’s okay because it doesn’t feel wrong and you’re in love. When teens do have sex, they have a feeling of being cut off from God. Many teens feel like they’re hurting God in a way of disrespecting him after they have sex. Teens can love God and church, but fighting off the temptation seems to overwhelm them.
Some Christian teens tell themselves it’s okay I can just become a new born virgin again. They think to themselves everybody does it, or it’s no big deal. They might also say virginity is just a state of mind, or sex and love is the same thing. They might think their will can overcome any temptation, but man is known for falling into sin, especially when you are over confident about yourself. There is a curiosity factor too, the belief of staying pure only makes a Christian more curious about sex, sometimes driving them to premarital sex.
Therefore even if teens go to church, believe in God, or try to follow the rules they always seem to fall short. The temptations are too strong or they make excuses to make up for it. They think everyone is doing it, or sex is just a way to get closer to your significant other. Whether teens think they can handle the temptations, that their will can overcome anything, it seems to be proven wrong.

Writer Assessment

As a writer I've come along way. My ideas now are more clear than before, they come across as thoughtful, and well supported by details. In my Coming of Age paper, my teacher assessment was a 3/4.  I cut out the excess parts in my revision to make the ideas more clear.  My self assessment for organization in my College Essay was a 4, I said my organization makes sense and goes with the flow. each paragraph goes from the basketball comparision to the life comparision. My peer assessment for my college essay on voice from Tristen was " This paper really sounds like you, cause we all know how much you love basketball." My teacher assessment for word choice on my Coming of Age paper was a 3, I need to work on verbs, and I need to notice that most of my descriptive words are the ones that describe the feelings. My peer assessment on sentence fluency from Kasey on my College Essay was " Maybe it's the whole sentecne fluency thing but the beginning seems like a list that should be separated with commas rather than periods." 

Some of my writing goals for the upcoming quarter are, focus on my sentence fluency and ideas. Even though my ideas are average, I believe that I can surpass that and make my ideas even more clear and supported with details.  

kristy's portfolio

http://www2.k12.hi.us/~ktamashiro/bio3.html

College Essay

College Essay

“Ten…, nine…, eight…,” Ecstatic screams from the sidelines. High pitch whistle’s blowing. The sound of the basketball slamming into the slats of the gym floor, as if you were listening to your own heart beat. Teammates encouraging you to go hard or go home. “Seven…, six…, five…,” Time coming down to an end. You either lose or win, but it all comes to an end in a flash. Once you know it it’s over. People say life is like a box of chocolates, but to me life is like an intense basketball game. Especially my life, as simple and calm as it seems, it feels like every aspect of a basketball game can be compared to something in my life.
Every basket made is like a new accomplishment in life. Like the first time I got an A on my math test. The first time I made a basket in my first year being on the high school basketball team against one of the top dogs in the district. Getting into the number one high school in Hawaii, Moanalua High School, with a geographical exception in the media program. The first day of high school. Coming from a small Christian school whose student population was 200 wasn’t that hard of a transition. I felt accomplished that I made it to high school and felt comfortable in a new environment.
But not only did I get accepted to a great school, I made incredible friends. Having great friends is like having teamwork on a basketball team during an extreme game. You need to keep your teammates close, make sure they’re on the same page as you. Make sure they’re doing the right things. My friends in my life always kept me in check with myself. I didn’t have to change the way I am to be accepted with them. During a game you might get frustrated with your teammates for a mistake they made or running a wrong play. Even if you get frustrated you need to communicate with them and tell them what they’re doing wrong. Every time my friends and I would get into a scuffle about something we would talk it out, no matter how hard the situation was we seemed to fix everything. In my life I keep my family and friends close because that’s what keeps me strong.
The ecstatic screams from the sidelines sometimes play with your mind. People yelling at you, it scares you and confuses you into what you want to do. You can hear the disappointment in the crowd when a pass is stolen, or a shot is missed, you can’t let those things get to you. In my life, I listen to my heart, fight temptations and society’s opinions. I try to stay true to myself, and not change for anyone. My family keeps me grounded, they remind me that I’m me and will always be just me. Like a coach, reminds you to stay calm and collective, ignore the fans and yelling crowd, keeps in check and tells you to focus on what’s important. Keeping my mind on what’s important is key, distractions are just obstacles that get in the way.
My dreams and aspirations are formed by the goals I want to reach in the future, and my accomplishments from the past. I move towards my goals by my actions of the present. Basketball is my passion, and my life. Friends keep me together in one piece, and keeps me sane. Family first, it will always be that way. My dreams and aspirations are formed by the life I live.

Berekely University

Prompt #1 (Freshmen):Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

COA- Kristy Tamashiro

Coming of Age

Two weeks of praying, waiting, and hoping. Trying to think positive, and staying optimistic. I remember it like it was yesterday. Waiting anxiously for school to end, edging off my chair more every second, and looking at the clock constantly. Finally, I thought to myself, the chance to see my friends, to converse with them finally after a long day of school. “Ring, Ring, Ring.” That sweet sound I’ve been waiting for all day has finally come.
I step outside the door to the warm smiles of my friends greeting me. Getting ready to tell me all the drama the day brought, all the news they just discovered. “Kris you won’t believe what we found out!” “Corey and Tiffany…” My mind wondered off the oh so titanic news, as I could feel a slight tickle in my thigh. It was my phone vibrating in my pocket. I hesitated for a split second, but I opened my phone and saw my mom was calling. “Sorry guys, but I seriously gotta take this call.” They all stared at me, thinking how I could interrupt news like this, “Yeah whatever just don’t take too long with that call.”
I answered my phone slowly, thinking to myself why is my mom calling? She never calls me. “Hello mom?” In those five seconds of ominous complete silence, I knew right there and then something was wrong. I repeated myself, “Mom? Hello are you there?” Finally a reply. I heard a dispirited voice come upon the phone. “Kris, yes I’m here.” “Mom what’s wrong?” The news I was about to find out would change me dramatically. “Uncle Mike, he was diagnosed with a brain aneurism.” She started to mumble, I couldn’t understand anything she was saying. “Mom, mom slow down, what’s going to happen?” “Well, he’s not doing so well, he’s in a hospital near his house in Seattle.”
As soon as I heard those words, I dropped to the ground, letting go of my phone to see it descend from my hand to hit the concrete floor. I was bawling, tears falling from my face like there was no tomorrow. My friends grabbed me and picked me off my limp legs. My best friend grabbed a tissue, as she wiped away my tears of fear, and sadness, I told her everything. They didn’t know how long he was going to be able to last. I thought the world was going to come to an end. I prayed with her, asking God to please help my Uncle, bless him over the following days and weeks. After that I called my mom, and asked her to come and get me, I just wanted to be with my family.
The next two weeks were the hardest for my family. Especially for my grandma, she had already lost her husband, my grandpa. She was devastated from losing him. How could she see her son go too? My family became closer together, and stronger. We had family dinners and prayed for Uncle Mike as often as we could. The bad news wasn’t easy to hear, but about four days later, we got a call in the middle of the night. My mom comes in my room,” Uncle Mike is home now, he’s healthy enough to be at home.” I thanked God for looking over him immediately. I thought everything had cooled down, and that this was just a false alarm.



As my family thought everything was getting better, we were blind sided with more dreadful news. My Uncle was back in the hospital, in critical condition. I felt so shocked, so lost, I felt hopeless. Like what can I do to help him, he’s all the way in Seattle? My family became closer together than ever before. We bonded over this situation. Not taking a day for granted. We got together as much as we could. My family that lived in Washington was hurt. They wanted the whole family just to be with them up there at a time like this. Although we all wanted to be there to support them through a time like this we couldn’t.
Later that week, we got the news that devastated us all. My Uncle Mike had passed away. I got the news at home at dinnertime. My mom had told me the news. As soon as she told me, it felt like time had stopped. That’s the only thing that I could think about at that time. All I thought about was how my Aunty and cousins were doing in Washington. I thought about how now my Uncle wouldn’t join us anymore for Christmas’, no more Thanksgivings, no more visits from Uncle Mike. But I knew that he would always be there for me in my heart. I knew that he was in a better place now. After my Uncle Mike died, I learned to be more appreciative. You never know when something so important to you could just be gone in a flash. Never take anyone for granted.