Victory! by: Kristy Tamashiro
We waited for centuries to see a victory in the horizonNo one can stop us now
Prepared, determined, aware
We are ready for this
The wait is over
The end of those many centuries lie before us
It's right in our reach
Celebration music comes from the lyre
Filling the war zone with excitement
The bow and arrow came in handy tonight
We casted our deadly plague on our enemies
The sun now clears the dark sky
that has hovered over us for years
We are victory, we deserve victory, we posses victory
3 comments:
Uncle boy,
I remember reading about the lyre when researching apollo but i dont know what that means... eheheheh.
Anyway the last sentence is nice, I like it.
Between the first and second paragraph though you skip over the entire "battle" so I thought that was a little rushed
I don't know if there was an actual battle because apollo's not my person so check that.
Oh wait! Maybe if you switch the 2nd and 3rd paragraph so it's more chronological.
KRISTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
you know you have a really outrageous writing style
but i feel like thats the only thing that reflects yourself in this poem.
oh wait.
unless this is like supposed to be about all your basketball games and those whole nine yards.
other than that, i think its a really good structured poem
:)
Hi Kristy,
I love the graphics...they are so you :)
I get the part about the winged Victory...but I would recommend including details about your real life victory (I'm thinking on the court) to parallel the myth.
mrs s
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